Never give up your truth
I have always been told that I was too blunt, that I hurt people’s feelings and that being too direct is not good. Well, I am sure I am not the only one that does this, or at least I hope I am not…
Having been told this too many times I started to wonder and to figure out what I was doing wrong or if there was something wrong with me. And I started to play the social game. You know… we all play it. Being nice, not really saying what we think, being polite, the whole social correctness thing, and to get a bit of relief I started joking about the things I really wanted to say. Having done this for a while it created a huge inner conflict as if I were not taking myself seriously. So, for the fear of being rejected but also not taken seriously I slowly started to shut down and less and less I would comment about the things that other times used to be very important for me.
In the process I basically gave up my inner and outer voices. I just stopped wanting to be heard. There were moments when I was not even able to hear my inner voice anymore because I kept hiding it or laughing at it… This was eating me up inside, I was the only one that stopped fighting for myself, how crazy was that? Who was going to be my voice if it was not me?
But a few months back I realized that I must come to my senses and speak out how I really felt about things and life. Thus, I started with a social media post. But before I did that, I made an agreement with myself that no matter how disheartening the replies would be, that I would not delete it, retract it, or joke about it.
So, guess what? the comments were bad, really bad, I was shocked at first, my heart rate went up and anxiety took over, but I made a commitment to myself and I was not about to break it, no matter what the whole world would think. From then on, little by little I stopped caring about the comments, and I started voicing my opinions again some of them as blunt as before, some with a bit more kindness. Of course, the backlash did not refrain from coming, but this time I was not ready to back off, nor was I taking it personally anymore.
No matter what your truth is find it and stick with it. Let it not be your family’s truth, your community’s, or the media’s truth, it should always be your own truth. Do not give up your truth until you find a “truer” one, with which you resonate. Things may change in time; you may change your mind, and that is fine. But always you be the one that changes your mind and not others around you imposing their own truth about life, or dictating how you should behave. After each one of us has their own truth. Never give up yours.
The Wisdom Carrier
